Sunday, November 11, 2007

Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me a third time?

In December of 2004, Failure magazine named “The American Voter” as its “Failure of the Year” for re-electing George W. Bush and leaving Republicans in control of both houses of Congress. In that article Failure predicted that Americans would “get what they deserve,” (i.e., self-destructive policy decisions coupled with woefully inept and corrupt leadership) and implied that the American public would rue the day it made such a misguided decision.

Almost three years later--now that the Bush Administration’s policies are really beginning to dramatically lower almost everyone’s quality of life--Americans have finally come to the conclusion that America needs a change of direction. The disturbing part is we're not convinced that this time next year America will actually vote for change. More and more it seems like a distinct possibility that Americans will vote for “more of the same.” It’s going to be really embarrassing if America is “fooled” a third time.

On a related note, we're also convinced that Americans are suffering from scandal fatigue. Over the past seven years we’ve heard of so many scandals, lies and abominations that the latest and greatest don’t seem to have much impact.

Here at Failure we’ve been compiling a list of many of the mistakes, blunders, lies and errors the American people have been subjected to over the course of the last seven years. It’s a very long list, all in bullet point form, each item an easily digestible sentence or two or three. Some of the items are nothing more than memorable quotes. Below are a few samples, all of which relate to the so-called “War on Terror.”

“We will be greeted as liberators” (no).

“The conflict will last six months” (no).

“The war will be paid for by oil revenues” (no).

“Osama bin Laden: Dead or Alive” (no).

“Mission Accomplished” (no).

“Plan For Victory” (no).

“Bring it on!” (okay, the insurgents did indeed ‘bring it’)

Insiders who have seen “the list” usually react with, uh, shock and awe, à la, “This is truly horrifying when you see everything all in one place.” And believe us, it is pretty horrifying.

Maybe next year come election time Failure will publish “the list.” Our populace may need a reminder of what “more of the same” might look like.

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