Awkward School Pictures

AwkwardSchoolPictures.com features bad haircuts, bad fashion choices, and more than its share of awkward situations. Read more about the site's launch.

The Five-Year Party

College faculty member and former education reporter Craig Brandon on why hundreds of American colleges and universities are fostering a party atmosphere in an effort to retain students and maximize profits.

People of WalMart: The Book

Failure magazine interviews Luke Wherry, co-founder of peopleofwalmart.com, about his new book Shop and Awe.

James Buchanan $1 Coins issued

Earlier this week, the United States Mint released the latest coin in the ongoing Presidential $1 Coin Program, this time featuring our “worst president,” James Buchanan (1857-61).

Read more: James Buchanan Dollar Coin

The Great Typo Hunt

Jeff Deck, Benjamin Herson, and the other members of the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL) are out to change the world, one correction at a time. Read more about The Great Typo Hunt.

Golden Gate

Failure magazine reviews: Golden Gate - The Life and Times of America's Greatest Bridge, by Kevin Starr, Bloomsbury Press.

Sudan: Darfur, Islamism, and the World

“This book is about one of the greatest humanitarian and political disasters of our age,” writes Richard Cockett, Africa editor of The Economist, in the introduction to “Sudan.” Read Failure magazine's book review.

Today's Google doodle: The Wizard of Oz

Today's Google doodle celebrates the 71st anniversary of The Wizard of Oz.

Downstream: Death of the Mighty Colorado

Failure interviews photographer Brian L. Frank, who won the 2010 Global Vision Award for his photo essay Downstream: Death of the Mighty Colorado.

Success Made Simple

Only half of newly-opened American companies are still around after five years. But if the business is Amish, the success rate is ninety-five percent. What accounts for such a high success rate? Independent Amish expert Erik Wesner has the answer.

When Failure is Tolerable

My co-editor pointed out an interesting post yesterday in the blog section of Harvard Business Review titled When Failure is Intolerable. The gist of the post is that while there is value in “positive failure,” there are also times when failure should be considered unacceptable. In the midst of making his argument, though, Scott Anthony brings up an important point — that part of the reason organizations (and the individuals who work for them) fear failure is because “Too frequently people reward (or punish) outcomes when they should reward (or punish) behaviors.” There’s a lot of truth in that; workers tend to act conservatively because they fear being scolded (or fired) for bold initiatives that don’t work out as planned. As a result, there’s a lot less innovation than there should be — or could be. Organizations need to empower individuals to push the envelope, with the understanding that things will not always unfold as planned.

Contested Will: Who Wrote Shakespeare?

Entirely too much intellectual energy has been — and continues to be — devoted to the Shakespeare authorship controversy. Shakespeare scholar James Shapiro explains the arguments of Shakespeare doubters, and what’s at stake in a dispute that has been re-energized by the rise of the Internet.

The race to discover the Mount Everest of caves

Find out what it's like inside the world's deepest caves, and which cave holds the title as deepest in the world in Failure magazine's new feature To the Supercave.

The Rise and Fall of Baseball Cards

Dave Jamieson, author of the recent book “Mint Condition,” on the 1994 crash of the baseball card industry — and the outlook for a once-popular hobby.

Awkard Family Photos: The Book

If you think your family is awkward, compare your clan to the families on display in Awkward Family Photos, a LOL-funny book of pictures and stories culled from the pages of awkwardfamilyphotos.com.

New York City Museum of Complaint

The book New York City Museum of Complaint features 132 representative letters written to the Mayor of New York between 1751 and 1969, all urging the city’s leader to address one municipal problem or another.

Meet 'Be Grateful for Obama' guy

Lenny Kates, a retired social worker from the blue-collar town of Pittsfield, Massachusetts, got fed up with all the disrespect being shown to President Barack Obama by Tea Partiers and the right-wing media. So he decided to counter the negativity with a message of his own. Once a week he stands in the middle of a busy traffic circle in his hometown holding a sign that reads: “Be Grateful for President Obama.”

Notably, his message isn’t really addressed to right-wingers, who are mostly unreachable anyway. It’s addressed to those on the left and in the center, who may be taking Obama for granted or frustrated that he hasn’t been able to effect more change (somehow forgetting that Obama inherited a long list of complex problems from the previous administration, problems that will take years to fix).

Says Kates to Americans: “Join with the president and stand up for him. He’s doing a wonderful job in a very difficult time.” Read more about Lenny Kates here.

Richard Whittle interview

Today Failure published its interview with Richard Whittle, author of "The Dream Machine: The Untold History of the Notorious V-22 Osprey."

Obamasfailures.com: A miserable failure

The Tea Partier-in-Chief at obamasfailures.com discovers that equating a president with failure isn’t as easy as George W. Bush made it appear.

Other People's Rejection Letters

A book filled with rejection letters you'll be glad you didn't receive.

MRSA: Superbug

Failure magazine interviews "scary disease girl" Maryn McKenna, author of "Superbug: The Fatal Menace of MRSA" (Free Press).

Victor Gruen's Shopping Mall

Architect Victor Gruen denounced suburbia, hated traffic, and had little interest in shopping. So what possessed him to create the shopping mall?

Age of the Castrato

In sixteenth- and seventeenth-century Italy, thousands of pre-pubescent boys were castrated to preserve their youthful, high-pitched voices and allow them to pursue singing careers. Was getting castrated better than the alternative?

Life imitates Paul Newman's 'Slap Shot'

Johnstown, Pennsylvania loses its failing hockey team -- the Chiefs -- to Greenville, South Carolina.

Utility truck fail

Here's what can happen when you fail to put (or keep) the downriggers out on a utlity truck. This accident occured on Friday March 26 in Ketchikan, Alaska. The worker in the bucket at the end of the truck's extended boom suffered a bloody nose and bruised ribs.

Conn. girl wins Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest

Trinette Robinson, 11, of Bristol, Connecticut, won the 35th annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker contest this morning.

The 2010 Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker contest is March 23

The Odor-Eaters National Rotten Sneaker Contest is a unique competition held annually in Montpelier, Vermont.

If ET calls, who answers for humanity?

Meet Paul Davies, chairman of the SETI Post-Detection Group, and author of the new book The Eerie Silence.

This Day in Failure - Isabella Gardner Museum heist

On this day in 1990, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston was robbed by two men dressed as police officers, who made off with artwork worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The case remains unsolved and the artwork missing.

The Eerie Silence

The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence is 50 years old next month. Yet still no sign of E.T. Theoretical physicist Paul Davies says it's time to re-think the search.

The Viking in the Wheat Field

Failure magazine interviews author Susan Dworkin about the late scientist Bent Skovmand, and her new book The Viking in the Wheat Field.

Remember Up With People?

The new Behind the Music-like documentary Smile Til It Hurts captures the essence of the ideologically-motivated singing group Up With People.

Living Off America's (Food) Waste

Filmmaker Jeremy Seifert hopes to inspire you to eat trash.

The Illusions of Entrepreneurship

"The Illusions of Entrepreneurship," by Scott A. Shane, is now out in paperback (Yale University Press).

"Fallen Giants"

"Fallen Giants," a remarkable history of Himalayan mountaineering, is now available in paperback from Yale University Press.'

Rhoda Janzen interview

Six days after her husband left her for a man he met on gay.com, Rhoda Janzen was seriously injured in a head-on motor vehicle accident. Then she went home to the Mennonite community of her youth, and started writing.

Masha Gessen interview

New Science & Technology feature published today: An interview with Masha Gessen, author of 'Perfect Rigor: A Genius + the Mathematical Breakthrough of the Century' - a biography of Grigory Perelman, who in 2002 solved the Poincare Conjecture.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party feature

Just posted a new feature about Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties on our home page. While we didn't feel it was appropriate to use the photo at right with the main article, we do hope you find it compelling enough to make you read the article.

New Jersey Nets tie NBA record

Last night the New Jersey Nets lost to the Los Angeles Lakers 106-87 at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, tying the NBA record for most consecutive losses to begin a season.

'Significant' crack discovered in Bay Bridge

The bridge is likely to remain closed beyond its Tuesday morning scheduled re-opening.

At one NY hotel, it's the guests offering the spectacular views

Apparently, beautiful skyline views aren't the only visual attraction at New York's Standard Hotel.

St. Adolphe Bridge collapsing (close-up #2)

The St. Adolphe Bridge on Saturday, August 22. Photo courtesy of Tereina Neubauer.

St. Adolphe Bridge collapsing (close-up)

The St. Adolphe Bridge on Saturday, August 22. Photo courtesy of Tereina Neubauer.

St. Adolphe Bridge on the verge of collapse

The St. Adolphe Bridge. Photo courtesy of Christian Clavelle, Canadian First-Aid Training Ltd.

Truck's boom snares utility wires (photo #2)

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Photo by Failure magazine.

See another photo of the truck (from a different angle).

Truck's boom snares utility wires

This was the scene in Lenox, Massachusetts, on Friday morning when a concrete truck attempted to pass under utility lines without lowering the truck's boom. The boom became entangled in the lines and pulled them down, leaving them tangled and draped across the truck. The utility lines belong to National Grid, Verizon and Time Warner Cable. Miraculously, no one was hurt in the accident. Photo by Failure magazine.

See another photo of the truck from a different angle.

'The Teeth May Smile But The Heart Does Not Forget' in the New York Times book review

This weekend's New York Times book review features a review of The Teeth May Smile But The Heart Does Not Forget, by Andrew Rice. For additional insight into the book, read Failure magazine's interview with Rice.

'Fordlandia' in New York Times book review

Tomorrow's edition of the New York Times book review features a review of "Fordlandia: The Rise and Fall of Henry Ford's Forgotten Jungle City," by Greg Grandin. For additional insight into Ford's failed jungle city, read Failure magazine's interview with Grandin.

Meet Mr. Irrelevant 2009 - Ryan Succop

This year's Mr. Irrelevant (the last player selected in the NFL draft) is Ryan Succop (pronounced "suck-up"), the South Carolina Gamecocks placekicker who was selected by the Kansas City Chiefs with the 256th and final pick of the 2009 draft. Presumably he can expect to be celebrated (as the ultimate underdog) during Irrelevant Week, at which time he will be presented with The Lowsman Trophy (see photo at right).

Fail: KTLK radio host Chris Baker falls for April Fools joke

In the department of 'I can't believe he said that on national television' ... On the April 14 edition of CNN’s Lou Dobbs Tonight, Minneapolis radio host Chris Baker actually said the following: “The craziest expenditure [of economic stimulus funds] I’ve seen so far is [Governor] Ed Rendell … hiring comics, magicians, and mimes … to cheer up the people of Pennsylvania.” Baker apparently obtained his information from an April 1 editorial by The Patriot-News of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which, in an April Fools’ joke, announced that Rendell was going to spend $15 million of federal stimulus funds to hire all manner of street performers to change the mood in the state.

Rush Limbaugh's 'failure' billboard debuts

A traveling billboard with the slogan "Americans didn't vote for a RUSH to failure" made its first appearance earlier today in West Palm Beach, Florida.

Dancing Woz

Last night I tuned in to ABC’s Dancing With the Stars for the very first time, solely for the purpose of watching Steve Wozniak dance. I’m not a Woz fan or anything (although we do have a soft spot in our hearts for him here at Failure as he did one of the first-ever Failure interviews ), but I kept hearing about Dancing Woz, and finally decided to tune in.

As it turns out, what I’d been hearing seems to be true; Woz is the ultimate underdog. And it’s quite brave of him — or perhaps masochistic — to keep going out there even when it’s clear that he can’t dance worth a lick. If it was up to the judges, he’d have been booted off the show long ago.



Last week, Woz and his dance partner (who is almost an afterthought, by the way) scored just 10 out of 30 points. And last night they did only marginally better, earning 12 out of 30, prompting the judges to refer to Woz’s routine as “long — there wasn’t much going on there,” and to say, “This is an improvement from last week … but last week was so terrible almost anything would be an improvement.”

As you may know, though, the judges aren’t the sole decision makers in regard to who “wins,” as viewers get to vote too. And thanks to the efforts of Vote Woz! and his army of geek fans, Wozniak (and dance partner, I don’t even know her name) are garnering enough votes to dance another day. While I’m not quite sure how the voting process works, I believe we learn whether Woz advances again on tonight’s episode. Stay tuned.

Destined for 'World's Worst Criminals'

We don't often comment on the personal failures of individuals - but how's this for a "bad day"? According to the Connecticut Post, on Jan. 29 of this year David Maksimik, 59, a convicted bank robber, woke up and went to a local bank (People's United in Darien, Connecticut), brandishing a gun and fake grenade. He proceeded to rob the bank and escaped with $3,745 in cash. So far, so good.

But while fleeing the scene in his '92 Toyota he rear-ended another car, forcing him to ditch the Tercel. After a bus ride, a trip in a taxi, and a ride from his sister, he finally made it home, where he found his fifty-something roomate unconscious on the floor. He called 911, but it was too late. His roomate had successfully committed suicide.

Meanwhile, Maksimik's behavior made the police suspicious, and while tending to his roomate found the stolen $3,745 in a bag on Maksimik's bed. The flustered bank robber then proceeded to waive his rights and confessed. Now he's charged with bank robbery by force, a federal charge that carries a 20-year prison sentence, along with a long list of other state charges, including reckless driving.

20th anniversary of Exxon Valdez disaster

Today is the 20th anniversary of the Exxon Valdez disaster. KTUU (NBC Channel 2 in Alaska) has comprehensive 20th anniversary coverage.

"Avoid wearing any AIG apparel"

Two days ago AIG issued a memo to its employees advising them to "avoid wearing any AIG apparel with the company insignia," and to "avoid public conversations concerning AIG" -- to name just two of the many security-oriented safety guidelines listed. The memo seems prudent. After all, A.I.G. employees have reportedly been receiving death threats. And Connecticut Working Families is planning a bus tour of A.I.G. executives' houses on Saturday March 21, a "field trip" designed to give passengers the chance to vent their anger.

Ironic AIG magazine ad

While researching an upcoming Failure magazine article, I stumbled upon a particularly ironic AIG magazine ad, one that presumably predates the recent "strength to be there" campaign. This particular ad states: "Opting not to buy our insurance is your right. But we'll be taking your money anyway." If nothing else, AIG proved to be prophetic.

Fail: Seattle Post-Intelligencer

Today, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer — at 146 years old, the city’s oldest newspaper — published its last print edition, commemorating its closing with a 20-page special section. However, the paper will continue to live on — online - at least for the time being.

Fail: Man goes over Niagara Falls, survives

Word out of Niagara Falls, Ontario, is that a man has survived a plunge over Niagara Falls. Prior to today, the last person known to have survived a plunge over the Horseshow (Canadian) Falls was Kirk Jones, a onetime auto parts salesman from Michigan who took the plunge on October 20, 2003.

But the story of the first person who went over Niagara Falls is perhaps most interesting. On October 24, 1901, an impoverished Annie Edson Taylor, 63, went over Horseshoe Falls in an oak barrel, believing the stunt would make her a wealthy woman. But her get-rich-scheme failed miserably as her manager stole her barrel, hired a young sexpot to play her, and took the Annie Taylor Show on the road without her. She died penniless on the streets of Niagara Falls.

Maytag Repairman is going to be busy

Today Maytag Corp. announced that it is recalling 1.6 million refrigerators due to the possibility of electrical failure in the relay component that turns on the refrigerator's compressor, a flaw that poses a serious fire hazard. Maytag claims that 41 incidents have already been reported, with 16 resulting in varying degrees of fire or smoke damage. To find out if your refrigerator is included in the recall or to set up a free in-home repair call 866-533-9817 (toll-free). Information is also available at repair.maytag.com.

Or if you're just feeling nostalgic about the good ol' days when the Maytag guy had nothing to do watch the original Maytag Repairman commercial.

"AIG: Is the Risk Systemic?"

Following is a link to a pdf of AIG's February 26 report to the federal government about the potential consequences to the U.S. and global ecomony should the firm collapse:

http://abcnews.go.com/images/Business/aig_systemic_090309.pdf

Connecticut School of Broadcasting fails

The 44-year-old Connecticut School of Broadcasting — a private broadcasting school with 26 campuses in 16 states — abruptly shut down yesterday and announced today that it will seek bankruptcy protection.

Furloughs better than layoffs

Last year “Bailout” (“a rescue from financial distress”) was Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year. In 2009, “furlough” (“a leave of absence from duty …”) has to be to considered the early favorite to earn that same distinction. But if there’s anything positive to be gleaned from employers’ increasingly common use of layoffs, it’s that they reflect a new orientation towards sacrificing for the collective good. In the past, employers would have favored layoffs, which disproportionally affect the few while insulating the vast majority. In the case of furloughs, everyone takes a small hit, spreading out the suffering amongst an entire group, which reflects a ‘sacrifice for the greater good’ ethos that has been missing in American society in recent years. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Goodbye Rocky Mountain News

In an ominous sign for midsize newspapers nationwide, the Rocky Mountain News, Colorado’s oldest newspaper and a Denver fixture since 1859, published its last edition today after owner E.W. Scripps Co. failed to find a buyer for the money-hemorrhaging paper. The 52-page commemorative edition accompanying the regular paper features the headline “Goodbye, Colorado,” and highlights some of the RMN's best work. The closing comes just two months short of the RMN's 150th anniversary.

Dallas Cowboys WR Roy Williams on the cover of Detroit Lions 2009 calendar

The Detroit Lions just can't let go of Roy Williams. It turns out that Williams, who has been playing for the Dallas Cowboys since October of last year, is on the cover of the Lions' 2009 official team calendar. Another laughable mistake by the sorriest franchise in the NFL. Want more? Click here to read Failure magazine's recent feature on the Matt Millen era in Detroit.

Goodbye Santika

Last night, a fire and subsequent stampede left 58 people dead and more than 100 injured at the upscale Santika nightclub in Bangkok. Reportedly, the blaze started near a stage where fireworks were being utilized for a performance, last night being the club’s closing night. Ironically, the venue’s Web site had billed the New Year’s Party as “Goodbye Santika.”

Sabol lists 5 worst NFL teams in history

The Los Angeles Times recently asked Steve Sabol, president of NFL Films, to name the five worst teams in NFL history. Naturally, first-year expansion franchises were removed from consideration. Here's what he came up with:
1. 1972 Houston Oilers (1-13)
2. 1952 Dallas Texans (1-11)
3. 1981 Baltimore Colts (2-14)
4. 1980 New Orleans Saints (1-15), a.k.a the "Aints"
5. 2008 Detroit Lions (0-15) or 1990 New England Patriots (1-15) (to be determined, based on the results of Detroit's regular season finale at Green Bay).

RCA Dome demolition video

Yesterday at 9:35 a.m., Baltimore-based Controlled Demolition Inc. demolished the 24-year-old RCA Dome in Indianapolis. Click here to watch a video of the demolition, which includes shots from a camera inside the facility. In particular, Baltimore football fans ought to relish the opportunity to watch the RCA Dome come down.

Hannity named 'Misinformer of the Year'

To his fans, Sean Hannity is a "great American." To Media Matters he is the 'Misinformer of the Year,' responsible for spreading more conservative misinformation than any other media figure in 2008. Click here to read a summary of his "unending stream of falsehoods and character attacks."

Pedestrian bridge collapses in Atlanta

One construction worker has been killed and at least 17 others are hurt after a pedestrian bridge collapsed at Atlanta Botanical Gardens around 9 a.m. this morning. The workers were pouring concrete for a new canopy walk when the bridge crashed to the ground.

Palin's prank call (and why Canadians think Americans are stupid)

Yesterday, Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank phone call from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy. During the call, the comedian, Marc-Antoine Audette (half of the Montreal comedy duo the Masked Avengers), speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops numerous hints that the conversation is a joke, yet Palin fails to pick up on them.

At one point during the call—which will be broadcast tomorrow on a Montreal radio station—Audette refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada's prime minister. Palin fails to correct him and even offers generic praise for Carse, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Canada's prime minister is Stephen Harper. At one point, Audette even says: "You know we have a lot in common also, because ... from my house I can see Belgium."

Perhaps the worst part, however, is that after being informed that she's been pranked and the callers are from a radio station in Montreal, you can hear Palin complaining to her advisor that it's a prank call from "a radio station in France."

Click here to listen to the audio.

Anniversary of "Keep Chopping Wood" accident

Today marks the fifth anniversary of one of the strangest sports failures in history. On this day in 2003, Jacksonville Jaguars punter Chris Hanson gashes his right leg with an ax while chopping wood in the team's locker room. The wood and the ax had been placed in the room at the behest of head coach Jack Del Rio, who was using the mantra "keep chopping wood" to inspire his players after a 0-3 start. Hanson's injury requires emergency surgery and ends his season. In June of 2002, Hanson, his wife, and former Jaguars placekicker Jaret Holmes were severely burned at Hanson's house when a fondue pot overturned.

More failures from today in history.

McCain, Palin, AAA New York and the Bridge to Nowhere

The October 2008 issue of Car & Travel Magazine (the monthly publication of AAA New York) features interviews with both Sen. McCain and Sen. Obama on "the future of America's energy policy, as well as its highways, bridges and transit systems."

Owing to the long lead time of print magazines, the telephone interviews must have been conducted months ago, before McCain chose Sarah Palin as his running mate. Which makes it all the more amusing how McCain, in his interview, obsesses about the Bridge to Nowhere, which as we now know, was originally supported by Palin.

"How can you ask Americans for more money, in the form of taxes, if you're spending $223 million for a bridge in Alaska to an island with 50 people on it?" asks McCain. And, in an earlier segment, he says, "I want to assure you that under my presidency there will be no more 'Bridges to Nowhere.' " Bet he wouldn't have focused on the Bridge to Nowhere (and pork-barrel spending in general), if he knew Palin would ultimately become his running mate.

Funny too how the interview(s) are prefaced by the following disclaimer: "The candidates' positions on energy and transportation issues may have been modified since this interview."

Millen out as Detroit Lions president/CEO

In a long overdue move, Matt Millen has been ousted from his job as president and CEO of the NFL's Detroit Lions. Over the course of seven-plus years, Millen took a mediocre franchise and turned it into the league's worst team, compiling a hideous 31-84 record during his tenure. His wife, Patty Millen, reportedly told ESPN's Chris Mortensen: "We're fine. In the world's view, this may look like failure. It's been a hard road, football-wise, but we've gotten a lot of eternal blessings. We'll move forward. I told him, 'You're out of football prison now' and we have a greater purpose."

U.S. Post Office says it meant 1-800-STAMP, not 1-800-TRAMP

No doubt this will become a This Day in Failure entry: This past Wednesday it was first reported that a U.S. Post Office carrier card that invites customers to buy duck stamps includes an 800 number for an "Intimate Connections" sex line, one that tempts callers to "talk only to the girls that turn you on," for $1.99 a minute. The card transposes two numbers, so instead of listing 1-800-782-6724 (or 1-800-STAMP24), it lists 1-800-872-6724 (1-800TRAMP24). The Fish and Wildlife Service, which administers the program, reports that it printed approximately 3.5 million duck stamps attached to cards with the incorrect number.

This Bud's For EU

"Budweiser: The Great Belgian Lager." Doesn't exactly have a nice ring to it, does it? With the sale of St. Louis-based Anheuser-Busch Cos. to Belgian brewing giant InBev, I wonder if some Americans will stop drinking Budweiser, Bud Light and all other Anheuser-Busch products. I'm sure an organized protest (not to mention a boycott Web site), is already in the works.

George Custer: Still Standing

June 25 marks the 132nd anniversary of the Battle of the Little Bighorn. More than a century later, Custer's Last Stand remains one of the most memorable failures in American history. To mark the anniversary, "Custerphiles" from around the country will, as they do each year, descend on eastern Montana to re-enact the battle — at several different locations, no less. (The mock massacres will take place on the weekend of June 27-29, to accommodate 21st century obligations like work and family).

It shouldn't surprise you that no one at Failure is available to travel to Montana next weekend, and we imagine you won't be going either. But you can still get a flavor of what will take place by reading Still Standing, Failure's recent piece on the enduring legacy of George Armstrong Custer. An equally compelling option is to read our companion interview with Steve Alexander, who considers himself the country's pre-eminent "Custer living historian." There's no doubt in my mind that Alexander will be on hand for Little Bighorn week, not to mention at least one re-enactment. After all, he lives for it.

$1 million offered for proof of Bigfoot

Great marketing ploy on the part of both binocular manufacturer Bushnell and Field and Stream magazine. Lots of free publicity and no one can ever collect the prize. The scary thing is that as of this posting 45 percent(!) of AOL users polled think Bigfoot is real (with 40 percent saying "no" and 15 percent saying "I'm not sure").

Poetic justice?

Today's AP Wire features a story highlighting the fact that more than two dozen youngsters who trashed Robert Frost's former home have been ordered to take classes in which they study his poetry as part of their punishment. Last December 28, a large group of teenagers broke into Frost's place, had a beer party and completely trashed the place, causing approximately $10,000 in property damage. Now many of them are making good by going to classes in which they read poems like "The Road Not Taken" and other Frost classics.

"I guess I was thinking that if these teens had a better understanding of who Robert Frost was and his contribution to our society, that they would be more respectful of other people's property in the future and would also learn something from the experience," prosecutor John Quinn told AP reporter John Curran.

On the surface, this punishment seems especially apropos. But in the bigger picture, the exposure this AP story receives will only help perpetuate the idea that reading poetry equates with punishment, hardly the message that poetry loves want broadcasted all over the country.

You Want Fries With That...? (book review)

* YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT? A WHITE-COLLAR BURNOUT EXPERIENCES LIFE AT MINIMUM WAGE, by Prioleau Alexander, Arcade.

Prioleau Alexander isn’t the first white-collar worker to abandon a lucrative career, try his hand at a succession of minimum wage jobs, and then write a book about the experience. But unlike most of his progenitors, Alexander’s goal isn’t to enlighten readers or make a political argument; he’s just trying to be funny.

A former advertising agency executive, the forty-something Alexander spends the better part of a year delivering pizzas, scooping ice cream, flipping burgers and cleaning up construction sites. He aspires to work for a big-box retailer, but fails to land an “associate” position at either of the big-box stores to which he applies.

While the rejections deflate Alexander’s ego, his sense of humor remains unaffected, at least until each of the individual jobs begin to drive him crazy. In the case of the ice cream “shoppe” this moment occurs around the time he hits “five-thousand pinks”—the five-thousanth time a customer asks for a pink-spoon sample. One day, “going pink” may have the same meaning as “going postal,” he quips half-jokingly.

In the end, however, Alexander turns serious, noting that since completing the book and returning to the white-collar world (as a freelance media planner) he makes it a point to say “thank you” and “have a nice day” to all low-wage earners. But Alexander seems to reserve the most sympathy for pizza deliverymen: “To avoid having a freakin’ pizza smashed into your freakin’ face by an enraged Pizza Man, make sure you have the freakin’ numbers of your freakin’ address on your freakin’ home,” he advises. How’s that for words to live by?

* The above book review isn't up to Failure magazine standards, so we killed it. But to avoid a total loss we decided to make it available on our blog, where our standards are obviously lower. Click here to read some of our more "successful" reviews.

Another construction crane collapse in NYC

A construction crane collapsed this morning on New York's Upper East Side (at E. 91st and 1st Ave.), smashing into an apartment building before crashing onto the street. As of now, one fatality has been reported. This is Manhattan's second deadly crane accident in two-and-a-half months.

Quantum Hoops and the Caltech Beavers men's basketball team

Seasons Change covers the story of the California Institute of Technology's men's basketball team, nationally recognized for its 23-year (and counting) losing streak.

Won't Get Fooled Again?

From today's editor's column in Failure magazine: Brace yourselves, Democratic supporters. The American populace appears poised to elect another Republican — Arizona Sen. John McCain — as our next president, this in spite of the public's strong dissatisfaction with the direction of the country.

Of course, if Americans want to go with John McCain as president, that's their prerogative. But one can make the argument that the American people will be getting a McCain that is much different than the one they are bargaining for. Recall that George W. Bush was packaged and presented to Americans as a "uniter," a compassionate conservative, and someone who could relate to the average American. (Today, the overwhelming majority of Americans would characterize Bush as a "divider" and a man completely out of touch with the problems faced by ordinary Americans.)

Now consider McCain, typically defined by the media as a "maverick" and a straight talker, an affable "moderate" Republican who is sometimes at odds with his own party. But this is, at best, a woefully incomplete characterization of McCain.

For starters, the media has somehow overlooked McCain's notoriously bad temper, which remains unknown to most Americans outside Arizona. In a March 2000 article entitled "Free Ride," Pat Murphy of the Arizona Republic wrote: "If McCain were to become president, Americans would wake up to more than a commander-in-chief with a prickly temperament and a low boiling point. McCain is a man who carries get-even grudges. He cannot endure criticism. He threatens. He controls by fear. He's consumed by self-importance…."

Meanwhile, Americans also don't seem to be aware that McCain makes it a habit of making vicious, insensitive comments (about everyone from Chelsea Clinton to Vietnamese people) that get little or no play in the national media. Some might argue that we should give him a pass for making disparaging, racist remarks about the Vietnamese; after all, he did spend five-and-a-half years as a prisoner of war in Vietnam. But at the very least this would seem to be relevant in terms of his fitness for the presidency, particularly when it comes to foreign affairs.

And speaking of foreign policy, McCain might be no more capable of understanding and handling foreign affairs than president Bush. In 2006, speaking about the sectarian violence in Iraq, McCain said, "One of the things I would do if I were president would be to sit the Shiites and the Sunnis down and say, "Stop the bullshit.' " Not exactly the measured analysis one should expect from the president of the United States.

Never mind the fact that not long ago that McCain responded to a question about Iran by singing "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" to the tune of "Barbara Ann," an unsettling display conveniently overlooked by the major media.

It should be interesting to see if the national press continues to soft-pedal McCain once the Democratic presidential candidate is selected and the race becomes a one-on-one affair. Will McCain's foreign policy positions come back to haunt him? Will he say something so inappropriate that it is impossible for the media to ignore? Will he be exposed as being further "right" than is commonly assumed?

Bottom line: It is perfectly reasonable for Americans to prefer McCain over Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. But let's hope they do so for the right reasons. Much as was the case with George W. Bush, it seems the American people are being sold a candidate who is not what he seems. And Americans seem more than willing to buy.

Isiah Thomas' failed tenure ends

Today Isiah Thomas was removed as head coach of the NBA's New York Knicks after compiling a 56-108 record over the course of two seasons. Of course, Thomas' tenure was preceded by the disastrous one-year reign of Larry Brown, who finished 23-59 with the Knicks two seasons ago.

Don Imus: Barack Obama "almost a bigger pussy" than Hillary Clinton

It has only been a year since Don Imus was fired by CBS and MSNBC for referring to members of the Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy headed hos." But if recent comments made on his recently re-launched program (syndicated on ABC Radio) are any indication, Imus is starting to feel untouchable again. During the April 17 edition of Imus in the Morning, Imus asserted that Sen. Barack Obama is "almost a bigger pussy than" Sen. Hillary Clinton.

Commenting on the April 16 Democratic debate, here's what Imus had to say, verbatim:

Imus: Stephanopoulos I thought was great, and the debate was fine. I thought Senator Obama was on the defensive most of the night. But they're both sissy boys or sissy girls, or whatever. Because they talk big when they're out on the campaign trail, wolfing on each other.

[co-host] McCord: But then ...

Imus: And then when they show up at the debate, they fold up like a couple of cheap lawn chairs. I mean, I don't understand that. And he's almost a bigger pussy than she is.

Video clip, courtesy of Media Matters:

McCain fails to answer political courage test

Only a handful of media outlets have reported the following political development: Last week Project Vote Smart (PVS), a nonpartisan voter education organization, kicked Republican presidential candidate John McCain off its "Founding Board" for his failure to answer and return its Political Courage Test, which asks candidates about what policies they support on a wide range of issues. PVS rules prohibit any non-respondent from serving on its board.

Forgiving Bill Buckner

File this in the category of never say never: Earlier today former Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner threw out the ceremonial first pitch at Fenway Park prior to Boston's home opener versus the (winless) Detroit Tigers. For two decades Buckner had been vilified by Boston fans who were unable to forgive him for his game-ending error in game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the New York Mets.

Math students correctly predicted NCAA tourney winner

Congrats to the two College of Charleston seniors - Neil Goodson and Colin Stephenson - who correctly predicted the winner of the NCAA tournament (Kansas Jayhawks) using computer models developed for their Operations Research class. Prior to the beginning of the tourney Goodson and Stephenson analyzed all 65 teams using models that took into account factors that included wins and losses, point differential and margin of victory. For what it's worth, the duo correctly identified two of the four teams that ultimately reached the tournament semifinals; their Final Four included Kansas, North Carolina, Texas and Duke.

"Things Fall Apart" 50th anniversary

On Feb. 12 Anchor Books will publish a 50th anniversary edition of "Things Fall Apart" by legendary Nigerian author Chinua Achebe. There's no denying the book's continued social importance, as it remains required reading in countless high school and college English courses.

Back in the spring of 2001 I had the opportunity to interview Chinua Achebe at his home in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York. Among other things, we discussed the success of "Things Fall Apart" and his (then) most recent work, "Home and Exile."

Am I hallucinating? The GOP is selling pink elephants

Today I was forwarded an email that asks GOP supporters to donate to the Republican Party, and in exchange for a contribution of $35 or more one gets to "Meet Maxine," a pink elephant "plush toy" that is "the newest member of the Republican National Committee." Click here to see Maxine.

In part, the pitch reads as follows: "Embroidered with the official logo of the RNC, Maxine proudly shows off her allegiance to the Republican Party's principles of lower taxes, a strong national defense, limited government and personal responsibility. Maxine is a wonderful plush toy available for a limited time to our most loyal supporters...."

Never mind the fact that pink elephants are strongly associated with drunken hallucinations. Or the fact that the GOP typically shies away from the color pink. Maybe this is an attempt to appeal to the more repressed members of the Party? Anyone care to weigh in on this?

George W. Bush and the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Recently, Frank Deford did a piece on NPR's "Morning Edition" in which he likened certain national politicians to sports figures. For instance, Barack Obama is Roger Federer, Mitt Romney is Derek Jeter, and Ron Paul is Manny 'that's just Manny-being-Manny' Ramirez. Most of Deford's selections are a stretch, although linking George W. Bush and MLB commissioner Bud Selig makes some sense. However, it sees to us that George W. is more like a winless team--the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (or the 2007 Miami Dolphins, if you prefer)--because he's embarrassing and painful to watch, and delivers predictably horrible results week in and week out. Can anyone think of a better comparison?

Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me a third time?

In December of 2004, Failure magazine named “The American Voter” as its “Failure of the Year” for re-electing George W. Bush and leaving Republicans in control of both houses of Congress. In that article Failure predicted that Americans would “get what they deserve,” (i.e., self-destructive policy decisions coupled with woefully inept and corrupt leadership) and implied that the American public would rue the day it made such a misguided decision.

Almost three years later--now that the Bush Administration’s policies are really beginning to dramatically lower almost everyone’s quality of life--Americans have finally come to the conclusion that America needs a change of direction. The disturbing part is we're not convinced that this time next year America will actually vote for change. More and more it seems like a distinct possibility that Americans will vote for “more of the same.” It’s going to be really embarrassing if America is “fooled” a third time.

On a related note, we're also convinced that Americans are suffering from scandal fatigue. Over the past seven years we’ve heard of so many scandals, lies and abominations that the latest and greatest don’t seem to have much impact.

Here at Failure we’ve been compiling a list of many of the mistakes, blunders, lies and errors the American people have been subjected to over the course of the last seven years. It’s a very long list, all in bullet point form, each item an easily digestible sentence or two or three. Some of the items are nothing more than memorable quotes. Below are a few samples, all of which relate to the so-called “War on Terror.”

“We will be greeted as liberators” (no).

“The conflict will last six months” (no).

“The war will be paid for by oil revenues” (no).

“Osama bin Laden: Dead or Alive” (no).

“Mission Accomplished” (no).

“Plan For Victory” (no).

“Bring it on!” (okay, the insurgents did indeed ‘bring it’)

Insiders who have seen “the list” usually react with, uh, shock and awe, à la, “This is truly horrifying when you see everything all in one place.” And believe us, it is pretty horrifying.

Maybe next year come election time Failure will publish “the list.” Our populace may need a reminder of what “more of the same” might look like.

Lost Luggage

Spend any time at an airport baggage claim and it won’t be long before you spot a solitary suitcase going round and round on an otherwise empty baggage carousel. Ever wondered what happens to that suitcase if the airline is unable to reunite it with its owner? Chances are it ultimately ends up at the Unclaimed Baggage Center, a one-of-a-kind retailer that purchases lost and unclaimed bags from the airlines, then re-sells the bags and their contents at a store in Scottsboro, Alabama, The Unclaimed Baggage Center.

Do You Give Good E-mail?

Have you ever considered the possibility that you're not good at e-mailing? If not, perhaps you should. You might not realize that you're in need of help.

Next: Disaster

In the wake of last week’s bridge collapse in downtown Minneapolis, state officials across the U.S. have been rushing to inspect their own bridges—especially those 700-plus spans that are similar in design to that of the I-35W crossing. One bridge in Missouri has already been closed indefinitely, and others are sure to follow.

This bridge collapse and subsequent response brings to mind the saying: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I don’t want to be too critical, because in the U.S. major engineering-related disasters are rare. Let’s give our engineers and safety monitors credit where credit is due.

But let’s face it, the U.S. is becoming increasingly reactive (as opposed to proactive) when it comes to preventing and mitigating disasters. Pre-Katrina our government was well aware of what might happen to New Orleans in the wake of a major hurricane. And we’ve all been hearing for several years how the infrastructure in the U.S. is crumbling, yet we aren’t doing nearly enough to replace and repair our aging buildings, roads and bridges. I’m certain that the engineering community saw a major bridge collapse coming—that we were “overdue,” so to speak. Yet, it always takes a high-profile disaster before we begin to seriously address such problems—and sometimes even that isn’t enough.

All of this might leave you wondering what the next major U.S. transportation disaster is going to be. As someone who studies failure on an everyday basis I can take a pretty good guess:

Right now, the big fear among aviation safety experts is that two commercial airliners are going to collide on the ground at a major U.S. airport, most likely while one plane is taxiing and the other is taking off or landing. The accident is expected to occur at a busy hub where planes frequently taxi across runways, and/or at an airport that handles a lot of international flights (where communications between pilots and controllers may be hindered somewhat by a language barrier).

“Close calls” are occurring all the time, and an accident such as this is likely to happen sooner rather than later. But badly-needed safety measures aren’t likely to be implemented until after we experience an accident akin to the one that occurred at Tenerife, Canary Islands on March 27, 1977, where PanAm and KLM 747’s collided on the ground, killing 583 people.

Officials warned in 1990: Bridge was "structurally deficient"

According to the Minneapolis Star Tribune structural deficiencies in the I-35W bridge were so serious that the Minnesota Department of Transportation (MnDOT) last winter considered bolting steel plates to its supports to prevent cracking in the fatigued bridge metal.

"Fears about bridge safety fueled emotional debate within the agency, according to a construction industry source. But on the I-35W bridge, transportation officials opted against making the repairs. Officials were concerned that drilling thousands of tiny bolt holes would weaken the bridge. Instead, MnDOT launched an inspection that was interrupted this summer by unrelated work on the bridge's concrete driving surface.

The Associated Press (AP) also reported that in 1990 Minnesota officials were warned that the bridge was "structurally deficient," yet they relied on patchwork repairs. The federal government also gave the I-35W bridge a rating of "structurally deficient," citing significant corrosion in its bearings.

As recently as 2005 a federal inspection also rated the bridge structurally deficient, giving it a 50 on a scale of 100 for structural stability.

And during the 1990s, inspections found fatigue cracks and corrosion in the steel around the bridge's joints. Those problems were repaired. Starting in 1993, the state said, the bridge was inspected annually instead of every other year.

The collapsed bridge's last full inspection was completed June 15, 2006. The report shows previous inspectors' notations of fatigue cracks in the spans approaching the river, including one 4 feet long that was reinforced with bolted plates. A 1993 entry noted 3,000 feet of cracks in the surface of the bridge; they were later sealed.

Engineers wondered whether heavy traffic might have contributed to the collapse. Studies of the bridge have raised concern about cracks caused by metal fatigue.

White House press secretary Tony Snow said while the inspection didn't indicate the bridge was at risk of failing, "if an inspection report identifies deficiencies, the state is responsible for taking corrective actions."

Gov. Tim Pawlenty responded Thursday by ordering an immediate inspection of all bridges in the state with similar designs, but said the state was never warned that the bridge needed to be closed or immediately repaired.

So whose responsibility was it? It is clear that the bridge was declared "deficient" in 1990 and every year since. The families of the dead, the missing and the injured would like to know.

50th Anniversary of the Edsel

Today's New York Times features an article entitled "To Ford, a Disaster. To Edsel Owners, Love," which chronicles how Edsel fans are celebrating the 50th anniversary of the auto industry's most famous failure.

Failure magazine's March 2002 feature - Edsel: An Auto Biography.

Big, odd and useless projects that failed

From the "What Were They Thinking?" department is Mental Floss' stunning top five projects that failed:

My favorite? The misguided attempt to dam Idaho's Snake River.

Phillies Suffer 10,000th Defeat

Tonight, the Philadelphia Phillies organization suffered the 10,000th loss in its 125 year history, losing 10-2 to the St. Louis Cardinals at Citizens Bank Park. Fittingly, the outcome of the game was never really in doubt, as the Cardinals hit six home runs and generally dominated the Phillies.

Coincidentally, the game was scheduled for ESPN's Sunday Night Baseball, and as a result it was televised nationally. Throughout the contest the ESPN announcers talked about losing; even the trivia question focused on defeat, asking, "Which Phillies player has participated in the most Phillies losses?" The answer: Mike Schmidt (who was involved in 1,140 Phillies defeats). One fan even held up a placard that read, "I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work. -Thomas Edison."

To find out how Phillies fans plan to "celebrate" the 10,000th defeat read "Loss Leaders."

Bush says Democrats are failing

Earlier today, during his weekly radio address, President Bush said, "Democrats are failing in their responsiblity to make tough decisions and spend the people's money wisely." Well, if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black. Specifically, Bush was referring to the death of the recent immigration bill. Never mind the fact that the primary reason the immigration overhaul failed was due to opposition from members of his own party.

Of course, Bush uses this tactic all the time, pointing the finger at others (or attempting to liken his efforts to especially noble past endeavors) in an effort to divert attention from his administration's own failures. Hopefully, the American people have learned to see through Bush's diversionary tactics, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

Extent of Right-Wing Radio Bias Revealed

Today, the Center for American Progress and the Free Press released a report entitled “The Structural Imbalance of Political Talk Radio,” which conclusively proves that there’s an overwhelming right-wing bias on American news/talk radio. Of course, this should be a surprise to no one. Even though it has been several years since the debut of Air America, most Americans would still be hard-pressed to name a single progressive or liberal radio host, while countless conservative hosts—including Glenn Beck, Neal Boortz, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, G. Gordon Liddy, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved, Bill O’Reilly and Michael Savage—enjoy national name recognition.

But the report is still shocking in terms of how one-sided the statistics are. CBS’s 30 stations feature 74% conservative content versus 26% progressive; Clear Channel’s 145 stations are 86% conservative and only 14% progressive; Citadel (23 stations), Cumulus (31 stations) and Salem (28 stations) are all 100% conservative. Not surprisingly, several major American cities—including Dallas, Houston and Philadelphia—hear no progressive or liberal-oriented news/talk radio at all. And even in a supposedly liberal city like New York, the majority of airtime (53% to 47%) is devoted to conservative content. Click here to read the report.

Now what we need is a study illustrating the right-wing bias on television. Fox is still the acknowledged leader in terms of conservative slant, but in recent years ABC has been threatening to overtake Fox in terms of right-wing bias. Meanwhile, CBS and CNN have both become predominantly conservative; only NBC maintains any semblance of balance.